I am still drinking today. It's 35 degrees Celsius here and I have heat exhaustion. Thanks for all the replies. It helped to make sure that I have perspective. You are right my drinking will kill me before any hitman. Today's the last day. I feel like I stabbed my relative in the back but I did the right thing. Just hoping I can make it forwards. The heat takes away all my cleaning distraction. Prayers for a better day tomorrow.