Originally Posted by
AutumnMama 
It's becoming apparent that he doesn't even see me for who I am anymore. I can't say anything to change how he sees me. That is so frustrating. I am about 80% sure that I'm not the awful person he thinks I am... but there's still that 20% that I need to work on in therapy..
I looked back at some of your other posts AutumnMama and one in particular stood out to me:
Then he said he kept escalating the relationship to try to make me happy. If we buy a house, she'll be happy--if we get married, she'll be happy--if we become financially stable, she'll be happy--if we have a kid, she'll be happy. He said he used alcohol on the weekends to help be the guy to 'make me happy'. (Although apparently he used to say he had to go out of town for work but would, in reality, go to a hotel and drink for a few days... which didn't really revolve around making me happy...)
The whole thing about having a great rush when he would finally get girls in college that were a "challenge" and how you were a challenge.
Anyway, that part above, that sounds to me like he's talking about himself not about you. As in, if we buy a house, maybe I will be happy etc etc
Now, this probably has nothing to do with you at all, the happy/unhappy (if unsure just re-read the drinking to make YOU happy and the going to a hotel for a weekend to drink confession). That has zero to do with making you happy and is all about him and I suspect the rest of it is too.
Maybe others here have experienced that kind of behavior from their SO.
Anyway it's just a thought that came to me in re-reading some of the things you have written and from the way he blames you for buttons and salads (because he probably can't really come up with anything concrete that would be plausible in front of a third party).
Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which the human ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others. (Wikipedia).