Welcome, MustAbide. It's wonderful to have you join us. Be glad you're taking a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life.
Like you, I knew at 20 that I was abusing alcohol. I fancied myself a social drinker back then, and refused to admit the truth. It seemed that life would be so boring if I had to quit. I never dreamed that I'd end up drinking 24/7, with a ruined life. This never has to happen to you. Keep reading & posting. We care about you & want to help.