dandylion,
Thanks for the bullet point tip, that's a great idea. And I agree...that my personal unhappiness is reason enough for me to want to leave the marriage. No justification needed.

I'm readying myself for backlash from AH's family. Even though they know he's had a drinking problem all these years, their denial runs deep. Years ago, I reached out to them for help, which completely backfired on me. Learned my lesson there! When my MIL and SIL step in to defend AH, I've decided that I'll respectfully tell them that I'm not discussing my relationship with AH with them. I can't control what he will do or say, but it's truthfully, none of their business. End of story. In the past, I would have felt the need to explain myself and my side of the story. Not anymore!