Valentia...….another tip....it sounds really simple, but can help. Make a list of talking points...."bullets".....and put them on an index card. You can, actually use the card during the discussion (discretely)….it is better than going blank.
It is easy to go blank....especially if the other party is presenting their side in very assertive manner and seem to have iron-clad, socially sanctioned arguments.
I think that it would be good for you to really realize that your deep down personal unhappiness is good enough reason to get a divorce....a good reason to get divorced is not wanting to be married!
I think that lots of people feel stuck because they feel that they don't have a good reason to present to the general public....that they might be seen as shallow or frivolous or just not a good, appreciative person.
This was not always true, down through history. In generations past, personal satisfaction was not what marriage was based around. It was based around elements of survival....especially for women. But, in this part of the world, and this day and time....thankfully, things are different. Thankfully, the laws have changed in order to support this.....
Another reason to fight for your own happiness and welfare, is because nobody else is going to....
Remember, that the chances are near zero that he will agree with you, or see your point of view. It is natural that he will see things from his own filter and from what he wants/needs. No matter how well you handle it....he will still not like it....and will take whatever reaction that he feels.
Keep your goal realistic.....and, I propose that should be to just lay your cards, on the table as honestly, and clearly and as precisely as you can manage.
It is not the time for long debates. Not a time for voting. It appears, from what you have shared, that, that water is already under the bridge.
If you want out...if you want a divorce....one doesn't ASK for a divorce---one just gets one.
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