Well, gosh. I'm sure sorry to hear about all the crud coming down on you all at once. When I was 43 years old I went to visit my 97 year old grandmother, who was born in 1896 - she saw a lot of history in the western United States, including all the bad stuff.
What she told me was the older she got the more death, hurt, and pain there was that SURROUNDED her, with friends, family, neighbors all getting sick from old age and dying off, including almost all the kids she taught when she was a school teacher from 1917 to 1921. At her age she was the last one standing. She used the word "surrounded" because she refused to become part of it. That may be a tall order for some people not to "buy into it" when you love somebody who is about to die. But I guess everyone is built a little different. I wish I were as tough as my grandmother. I guess we do the best we can with what we have. Stay sober and good luck!