It's not easy to do, but coming here and getting your thoughts out there helps Nibor. It's good that you realize that you have a choice - you absolutely can say no to those "demons" - they are simply thoughts. As you get more time under your belt the thoughts will become less prevalent and less strong. Keep posting and reading here, you might want to consider joining one of the daily threads over in the newcomers section as well to get some regular participation with others with the same goal as you.