AAPJ

My oldest child turned 20 this week and it has me pondering my life situation. Thus I offer you the following thoughts that have been running through my mind.

"My life got better so much better when I stopped drinking." I heard this statement (or similar statements) a lot in the rooms of AA and here as well. The implication being to the listener/reader is that your life will get better too if you stop drinking. I have been pondering this statement a bit and I think it's not always true.

Roll the clock back five years. I was a drinker. Maintenance drinker mostly. My job paid me 2X what I am making today. My kids were young and having a great time growing up. Even though my memory is often fuzzy about what happened on their birthdays because I was busy drinking with my friends.

On the other hand, today has some challenging life issues for me. My BIL is dying of cancer. He has less than three months to live. My SIL was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. My brother's life is a train wreck trying to take care of her. And then there is my mother. She fell last year and is now in a nursing home. I visited her yesterday. She told me death can't come soon enough.

So no life isn't better in many ways for me and my family. BUT even if I was drinking these bad events would have happened anyway. I recognize that.

I think it's more accurate to say that life will be as good as it could possibly be going forward sober compared to a drinking life. But there are no guarantees.

Or in another line of thinking... Even in sobriety, bad things will happen to you and your loved ones. That's life. So if something bad happens to you in early sobriety don't use it as an excuse to keep drinking.

I'm not looking for sympathy here guys. I know a lot of you are inclined to offer me some. I realize you are a kind group of people. Have a great day.