"Today, I'm just "tired" of carrying it all on my shoulders, ya know?? I'd like to be laying in a hospital bed getting fed those lovely narcotics that produce such vivid hallucinations -- ya know, like my AW had earlier this year.
Don't feel bad for saying that. I had the same thought when I was visiting my AH in ICU and then the step-down room. He was laying there without a care in the world, speaking nonsense, and my mind was racing with all the ramifications of what he'd just done.
Not going to give you any answers or advice, just going to send you a virtual ((hug)). You're not alone. We get your crazy here.
