I'm sorry for whats brought you here Owler but I'm glad you found us - this is a place of great support. Abuse is not OK - under any circumstances and regardless of any addiction or other personal issue or illness.
I hope you'll take the time out to read through some of the links here if you haven't already.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...out-abuse.html (About Abuse)
Love doesn't require you to put yourself in physical or emotional danger.
I want a man who will make a good partner and father in the future.
I think you deserve that too
I think you need to face the very real probability this man is not that man.
Keep yourself safe.
D