Wow, DG...our stories are very similar. And I completely agree with the head games one can experience in AA. However, at it's core there are some really good people who can help, want to help, and will. I'd recommend a warm room, some coffee, and some food (if you can tolerate it). Look at the very first priority...to cease the alc intake. That alone is plenty to think about and physically endure. And I'd piggyback on the poster who mentioned medical help through indigent services if need be....alcohol withdrawal can be fatal. We've all been somewhere very dark with affliction...you're on my radar and I am thinking of you with real empathy and HOPE