Told by my doctor I have to give up completely. Got drunk for the last time.
Actually I don't even think I am drunk. Not sleepy or out of it. My doctor who I have seen twice this week said due to extensive scarring, severe stomach cramps and elevated liver function tests I have to give up forever. I had a full abdominal ultrasound yesterday. So that's it give up or develop cirrhosis and die. My choice. Why I drank today I don't know. Shock that this is it. I told the bottle shop staff I can't drink anymore. So I am stuck in AA forever much to my grief. I still have intense doubts about it but the meetings are helping. I got some sober time up. So here's to day one again in an hour.