seekingcalm…...I think there are some differences in the no contact thing with children than with ex lovers/partners. etc....
The parent-child connection does not ever end, in that same way....I think that it is better to think of loving from a distance....maybe, even, a great distance....than just ending connections forever.....
Having been through this, myself....I think that it is o.k. to continue to love where you can....continue to love the person...yes--send cards and messages that one would, ordinarily....send the usual gifts for birthdays, Christmas, etc...
Talk when they are fully sober and can treat you with respect.....
However....don't enable, don't tolerate disrespect of any kind....including verbal assaults or nasty attitudes....
Iron clad boundaries will need to be developed....and, it may go on for a very long time....if and until they ever decide to reach for their own recovery...…
I think that parents of adult alcoholics need to have lots of support and be determined not to let the child....as heartbreaking as it can be, at times...to suck the joy and meaning from their own lives.....