I'm worried about my Wife.
My wife has been out of alcohol rehab for 3 weeks and went straight into sober living and IOP. She has recently admitted to having an affair that began between the day I kicked her out of the house and before she entered rehab. I finally had enough when I came home from work and found her passed out drunk on the couch at 5am. She had urinated on herself and our 3 year old daughter was sleeping beside her, soaked in her mother's urine. I told her to get out and to not come back until she was clean. 3 days later she had sex with a coworker in his car after work. 3 days after that she called her mother and said she was scared and wanted to go to rehab. She also admitted that the entire time she was in rehab she would call her affair partner and talk to him. She only called to talk to our kids a total of 9 times during the entire 30 day, 12 step program. She was diagnosed bipolar while she was there and in currently on 100mg Zoloft and Lamictal. She is now saying she wants a divorce and hasn't ever truly loved me. Also a week after she got out of rehab she got a new job at a brunch restaurant that serves alcohol, as most people go to brunch to drink. She refuses marriage counciling and wants an "irreconcilable differences" divorce. I don't want divorce. I told her if we did divorce that I was going to file on the grounds of adultery. We live in an at fault state. She freaked out and said i was being vindictive and that I was going to "rake her over the coals and ruin her." While in sober living she has only called to talk to our children a handful of times and it's only for a few minutes at best. The kids miss her and she says she isn't coming home. They are both regressing in the way they behave and I'm doing all I can right now to support them and meet their needs. I don't drink. I hate alcohol. Its ruined my marriage and I just don't know how to break through to my wife. Between the affair, the bipolar diagnosis and the new meds, and the new sobriety (she has 45 days as of today), what should I do? I'm not a quitter and I know how to forgive. I love my wife. Should I give her a divorce or is she out of her head right now?