Originally Posted by
Mango212 
Another aspect of staying in no contact and actively working my recovery with outside help:
What used to seem normal and loving I now often identify as scary behaviors.
I don't have to point out specific incidents or actions to be able to feel the intent behind things. I can trust my healthy instincts in very solid ways.
I love this post, Mango.
I used to not trust my instincts because they were never validated as a child.
One of the most important things I learned to do in recovery to the point of it now being second nature, is trusting my very healthy instincts, especially when it comes to dealing with toxic people. My instincts are very clear and strong, now that I tap into them instead of listening to the noise in my mind.
Once I knew better, I saw that "normal" was not normal, it was "comfortable" because it was all I knew at the time. Now I know it was not normal.