Feeling abandoned
My sponsor kind of disappeared. She had some personal struggles going on in her life, so I understand that, but it left me feeling really abandoned and I didn't feel like I could call her when I was really struggling with cravings. I tried to be there for her, but she only distanced more.
At the beginning I was really really happy that she was my sponsor. I thought that she was happy joyous and free, and had a really strong sense of herself and her sobriety. She felt like a perfect sponsor and after we did my 1st step, I was happier than I'd been in years. She felt like a real friend, my first real friend in a long time. I could tell her anything.
Lately she hasn't really been there for me- I've chaired several meetings and she hasn't come to any of them to support me. I've had exciting news and she hasn't shared my excitement. I've called her and she hasn't picked up. I've seen her at meetings and she's barely said hello.
I don't know what happened. Maybe I thought of her as a friend, but the feeling wasn't mutual. Maybe I'm caught up in self-centered fear right now. Maybe I am over reacting. I just thought I could depend on her, trust her with everything and it doesn't feel that way anymore.
I want to hold on to this and not get a new sponsor. I want to work it out. I wonder- are my expectations too high for her?