Trying to detach while living together
I'm sick to my stomach my entire body feels sick with anxiety. I bought an air mattress and moved into the other bedroom because my ABF continues to lie to me and drink excessively. You would think he would get the hint that I've had it and can't physically and mentally live like this anymore but he completely ignores what's going on and acts like everything is fine. By this I mean he over looks the fact that I've moved into the other bedroom. He wants to be "close" and will approach me trying to give me a kiss. I just spent the last 6 nights in the other room. Only once has he said he was sorry for everything and that he wants to be healthy etc. but apparently lying and continuing to do the exact same things he apologizes for is his plan. I feel like I'm trapped in a psychotic head game. Last night we went out to a friends bday gathering at a venue where bands were playing. He kept coming up to me saying "look I'm not drunk I haven't been smoking". Then a little later I go outside and he's standing there smoking and by this time he is drunk. I tell him I'm leaving and he tried to start a fight with me in front of all our friends. I just got in my car and went home. He came home a couple hours later trying to get me to sleep in the room with him. I keep telling him I'm not living like this it's not normal to have a relationship based on lies and disrespect. He ends up calling me a bitch and telling me to F off and this is the next morning when he is sober. I understand that he is not going to change , but how the heck do you live with someone under these conditions? Part of me thinks just give in and act like everything is fine as well but the other part of me wants to hold out and fight this till the end. I desperately want to move out but it's not that easy to find a cheap rent and move a house load of stuff also I'm stuck in the lease for 5 more months and he REFUSES to leave. I'm living in full blown hell. I'm dying inside doing all I can to not argue with him , he is not capable of having a conversation because he feels all I do is put him down. The outright lies to my face is what is really making me go nuts.