I did share yesterday, but alas ghost in the machine.
I will liken your question about when does it not be your story- to mine.
My story per se is well documented here so that bit is not important...but now?
In my case it is- when will that part of my life, my story stop hurting- be left in the past where it belongs.
When it stops hurting, when I stop having so many memories- so often all the time, when I can go a day without even noticing I have not thought about it..when I let go. I understand and accept- but letting go is the biggie. I need to experience the recurring mem's and feelings (although those feelings- today are not relevant and I am just looking at mem's, which cannot harm me))- riding out the surge in the waves- to remain as the rock. I do this with SR, journal writing, art- and talking to my 'professional friends'- GP, psychologist.
Support to you.