Glenjo99, are you familiar with MBTI or Enneagram personality theory at all? Discovering my “types” helped me a lot, especially the Enneagram, that gets into core fears. I’m a type 9 (9w8 to be more specific), I have a very hard time with separation from loved ones/ loss. There’s some good info in both of those theories, I think. I do the obsessing/ ruminating too, but I find I’m like that in general and it’s just the way I am, I even do it with everyday things (very particular about products; foods that I like, etc) so I just try to go with it until it passes.
There’s that whole period after break ups where all of it just feels so crappy, too. The no contact (even though that’s the logical thing to do/ the way out); contact may be a relief momentarily, but then the roller coaster ride starts again... all of it just feels crappy for a while.
Anyways, I personally relate to what you and others are going through too. You’re not alone
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