Originally Posted by
Izzy2018 
I’m 50 and just moved to a new city 2 years ago after a divorce. Alcohol has ruined most of my life. I got here sober but started dating a younger girl (20 years younger) and stated drinking again with her. Alcohol has now destroyed that relationship completely. I know no one here. Sick of going to bars to meet people. I don’t even want to drink anymore. Hungover today. Feeling like ****. Low self esteem and more self hatred. Depression has been around my whole life. I’m on meds now but the alcohol keeps them from working properly. Suicidal and lethargic every day. Went to AA a few times. Not for me. I’m getting sober on my own. Did it once for 18 months. Felt good but depressed. Alcohol has become a poison to me. It has turned me in to an irritable, horrible person and I have so much self hatred, pain, shame and guilt for the things I’ve said and done that hurt people. I don’t feel worthy of love or help. Does anyone else feel this way?
I'm so happy you went on a limb a posted this. I'm with you. I'm ******* losing it. Half of people at AA are on something. I wake up every morning violently mad, which is not like me, but I've quit drinking...or at least I'm giving my last breath trying... I was sober for a month and a half and threw it out the window without a though. Idk, man. You're not alone.
Why do you disengage from social rehabilitation like AA?
What is your biggest dream? Do you believe in ghosts?