I’m lonely and afraid of sobriety. But alcohol has destroyed my life
I’m 50 and just moved to a new city 2 years ago after a divorce. Alcohol has ruined most of my life. I got here sober but started dating a younger girl (20 years younger) and stated drinking again with her. Alcohol has now destroyed that relationship completely. I know no one here. Sick of going to bars to meet people. I don’t even want to drink anymore. Hungover today. Feeling like ****. Low self esteem and more self hatred. Depression has been around my whole life. I’m on meds now but the alcohol keeps them from working properly. Suicidal and lethargic every day. Went to AA a few times. Not for me. I’m getting sober on my own. Did it once for 18 months. Felt good but depressed. Alcohol has become a poison to me. It has turned me in to an irritable, horrible person and I have so much self hatred, pain, shame and guilt for the things I’ve said and done that hurt people. I don’t feel worthy of love or help. Does anyone else feel this way?