No pathetic, not alone.
I moved (with 2 sons and then- wife), then lost job after job..booze. Before, during adter work.
All grown up- sons moved out of home, as did ex- just me a booze. 10 years. Very, very bad end...literally,.
BUT I am here- supporting you. Keep posting, join some threads, make a plan, get support- meetings etc.
You are NOT ALONE, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE WHERE THERE IS LIFE.