I nodded through your hole post FireSprite.
My mum has been miserable her whole life because she has spent her entire 72 years trying to make everybody else around her happy.
-She is not happy...
-Her parents were not happy...
-My Dad was not happy...
-My brother is not happy...
-I was not happy in my former marriage, which if she had her way, I would still be suffering in because you know, I made a promise when I was 20 and I should have stuck with it forever and ever despite the dysfunction...
-My kids love their Grandma but she drives them nuts with her interference and opinions on how they should be living their lives. Like she is some ultimate authority on today's youth.
She has wasted her entire life trying to make people happy, with zero real results, but she keeps at it. It's REALLY sad. No amount of trying to talk to her about this has ever gotten anywhere. I don't upset her by trying anymore. She wasn't receptive and didn't believe me, so it wasn't worth beating that horse.
She keeps making these destructive choices and being angry with everyone else that life sucks, if we'd all just do what she said we'd all be living on a pink cloud dontchaknow!? *SIGH*
I really try not to live in the F.O.G. anymore but I guess the truth of it is that I still get a bit mired in it sometimes. She's getting older, her health isn't good, and she lives 3K miles away. I know she misses me, the guilt kicks in because I really don't miss her, or rather having to tolerate her behavior. I'm really much more comfortable with several emails a week from afar vs. entire days of non stop Codie Mum when we are face to face.
I don't think she is going to change. She is pathologically stuck in her ways. It's going to have to be me that finds a way to deal with this in a way that doesn't intentionally add to her misery... OR MINE.
Families are "fun"
