After nearly 30 years of drinking I thought I was beyond hope. I seriously thought long and hard about suicide many times. Had I gone thru with it, I would've left a lot of loved ones with needless pain and suffering. Also, I would've lost the best years of my adult life that have happened because I did reach out for help. Instead of thinking about all the bad things, start counting your blessings. You just might be surprised how much you really have to live for!