Originally Posted by maia1234

K,
I am sorry for what is going on in your home. I bet you are exhausted. When I was going through my misery, I had black circles under my eyes, because I was so overwhelmed. You can get on top of this, you just need a plan.

First off, are you getting any support, family, friends, alanon, open aa meetings or a therapist? There is so much help out there for you that you need to seek it out. Second, you need to figure out what you want to do. So know you finally realize that you thought that you had been "hiding" this drunk behavior from your son. In fact he even knows the name of what his dad is. I would highly recommend taking him out of the house and having a talk with him regarding the disease he has. You trying to hide it any further is over, so the elephant in the room can be seen.

I would recommend you going over the the adult children of alcoholics forum on SR. These are people who grew up in alcoholic homes. There are many people on that forum that had wished the one "healthy" parent had left the home and just didn't stay together to be a normal family. Please research how living in a home with a full blown addict effects everyone involved. You can protect yourself, a child can't, it is no longer just about you.

Educate yourself and make a plan. Maybe, just maybe this will be your rock bottom and get out of the home for good, but maybe not. Take your time, make calculated moves and it will all take place the way it's suppose too.

Hugs, we all understand on this forum.