I cannot get past the “why” and I am really, really stuck here. Why did he start getting drunk every day? Why was he so abusive? Why couldn’t he get help before things ended the way they did? My therapist and I had a discussion today about this and she told me just to see it as black and white; I can’t do it. I have tried, but I can’t do it. And this is holding me back.
He started getting drunk every day because he is an alcoholic and alcoholics tolerance level for alcohol grows and he needs more and more in order to get high………..none of that has anything at all to do with you as a person.
Why was he so abusive? Because alcoholics do not think with logic, they lack impulse control and don’t know how to properly address the emotions they feel………….none of that has anything at all do with you as a person.
Why he couldn’t seek help before things ended the way they did because he is an alcoholic and alcoholics do not see themselves in the same light as others do. They often do not feel they have a problem that needs addressing they instead attempt to numb any feelings they have with the booze…………..none of that has anything at all do with you as a person.
QTIP Quite
Taking
It
Personally
He didn’t drink
AT YOU or
BECAUSE OF YOU, he simply drank because that’s what alcoholics do.
I found that it was much easier to focus and get stuck on why he did what he did rather than face the bigger question of why I did what I did. Why did I stay so long taking the verbal abuse and why I remained in such a toxic environment for so long. Once I stopped taking it personally I was able to move forward and face my own demons.