Originally Posted by
bbumbabee 
Yes, the relapse still matters to me because he could have ended it because of his relapse.
I hope that you can find some peace without him. I know how hard it is when someone we love ends a relationship. Loving an alcoholic is like wrestling a full grown bear to the ground and worse, believing your love can make it happen. But it is a beast that wins unless he is ready to quit. He may have quit, he may not have but I'll say the sexiest and most interesting parts of his life will always be the parts he associates with alcohol because of the addiction: so even if you win, if he isn't fully sober, you don't come first, the booze does.
Five months does not sobriety make. No one is fully sober at 5 months. At 1-2 years some healing has taken place.
Take care of yourself first. Put thoughts of him aside and figure out where your own needs, goals and values lie, and how to realize them.