Hi Leelee,
I think I understand that...the need to understand what in the heck happened. I'm "fortunate" in a way in that I have never dated or been married to someone who was active in their addiction. My sister is an alcoholic and powder cocaine addict who is sober--in recovery--whatever way you would like to describe it.
She and I were raised in the same household by the same set of parents. She became an addict, I did not.
Did our parents treat us differently growing up? Maybe...I couldn't answer that, but when we compare notes, there were some differences.
To me, addiction is a brain chemistry disease...a mental illness of sorts. Why her and not me? I'll never be able to answer that.
Why does she have grey eyes and I have blue? Why is she 2 inches taller than I? Why does she like guacamole and I can't stand it (please don't hold it against me
)? Nature, nurture, all of the above, in my opinion.
Wishing you peace!