Oh thank you Rach... you are so kind...
I’m not doing great. I guess that’s to be expected for withdrawal part 2, but I’m feeling really bad... physically destroyed. Couldn’t sleep at all. I’m nauseous, shaking, sweating, dehydrated and my intestines are on fire. At some point I thought I’m having a heart attack. I don’t know how I managed at work yesterday. It was my last shift... what a great way of saying goodbye to my colleagues... puking in the toilet in between serving tables.
I’m haunted by awful flashbacks of what I’ve been doing in the past three days and I’m terrified and so ashamed. It helps to think that I don’t have to go through this ever again, but how many times I said that...
I’m fuelled by self-hatred today and the only thing that stops me from hurting myself is I really don’t want to go to the hospital again... too embarrassing.
Anyway... enough complaining. I have to do something before I drop dead. I’m gonna drag my sorry ass to the meeting today... try to eat something... pack some of my stuff. Baby steps...