I sympathize with you. I also know you can make yourself miserable trying to figure out the "whys" of behavior which is literally crazy, or trying to apply Reasonable Person Standard to an alcoholic. If your husband is bouncing around near rock bottom, he may be very well doing what he's doing because his brain is damaged and he can no longer think like a normal person. Addicts often lack the capacity to understand the consequences of their behavior or to appreciate the implications of what they are doing. It's like dealing with a two-year-old who never grows up.