Thread: PAWS @ 9months?
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Old 08-29-2018, 02:11 AM
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Berrybean
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
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That article is a good one. Looking back over your posts the anxiety and racing thoughts have come and gone for a while now. What does your recovery plan look like at the moment? I reckon it's probably time to commit to adding something extra to it if you want to get to a place of peace.

For me my bouts of PAWs kicked off at about 6 months. At that stage I'd been attending AA meetings for 5 months and was darned sure that someone like ME did not need to get a sponsor and work the steps. Nope. That was for far 'worse' alcoholics (whatever that meant). I wanted things to change, but really I wasnt prepared to change anything myself. So, so stubborn.

By 9 months though, things had got worse and I was desperate enough to think that maybe it was worth at least trying the steps with a sponsor. This was the turning point for me. I'm so glad I got that gift of desperation and became willing, or my pride and laziness would have kept me right where I was. Restless, irritable, discontent, anxious, angry, hopeless, and full of self-pity which had tears rolling down my cheeks whenever I was alone. It was pretty vile. It was in the winter that I found a sponsor and started to work on the 12 step recovery plan. By spring I'd just finished step 5 (so not even half way through) and the world and my life felt like a completely different existance. Pretty amazing.

I hope you find something in the suggestions in the digital dharma article, or elsewhere, that you can add to your plan that will make the difference. Please don't just carry on as you are and hope things will just get better. We get out of recivery what we're prepared to out into it, and there are lots of options out there.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
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