I'm still dealing with the pain of living with a selfish alcoholic. it makes me feel like ripping my insides out. I'm paralyzed with depression from it. When I can figure out to remove myself from this most horrible situation I will never miss:
-The lies
-The late nights out getting wasted and ignoring my calls.
-Snoring so loud after passing out drunk
-Pissing the bed , pissing on the floor , pissing in the kitchen.
-Coming home visibly drunk and telling me you haven't had a drink
-Putting me down in front of our friends calling me an ******* , telling me to get lost in front of everyone because you were drunk
-Driving you everywhere because you don't drive and you are a drunk
-SELFISH SELFISH SELFISH!
-LIES
-Walking out on me to go to the bar with your buddies because that is your priority
-Proposing to me and then two weeks later come home at 5am wasted. THAT is NOT a man I want to marry.
- not spending Christmas together because you came home wasted and I told you I refuse to honor you when you continue to get drunk
-Every weekend hanging out like you're a teenager or some kind of single dude who just sits at the bar drinking
- not putting any effort into our relationship. In 6yrs never spoke to me once about a future just basically threw a ring at me to make me "feel special".
-mouthwash and gum to try to cover up the alcohol. I'm NOT stupid!!!
-feel like I'm your mother
-NEVER been there for me. I can't trust you or rely on you!
- stupid drunk face.
-being sick to my stomach laying in bed waiting for you to come home. Pretending to be asleep when you come back drunk
-having to spend $100. To stay the night at a hotel because I can't be around you at home when you are drunk and screaming at me and the neighbors can hear
- making me hate myself because I'm loyal and put every ounce of energy into someone who put zero into me and made me feel like second best and taking everything I did for him for granted. I'm sick with hatred.