Hopeforme,
I had a particularly hard time not playing banker to my alcoholic.
Same story. He worked 8/52 weeks of the year, 6 weeks of which was because he was in a work release jail program, so if he didnt have a job, he got sent up to DOC.
Heres what I did.
Closed accounts he had access to
Stopped carrying cash
Paid off as much in credit card debt as I could
Used my credit cards for every day spending, bc if he took it and managed to use it (A couple times), the cc company had to reimburse me
Change all passwords to accounts
Keep all bills with account numbers and such at my office instead of home
Changed mailing address so bills wouldnt get to my house while I was at work
Didnt buy him cigarettes
I was not married to him, but can tell you one thing. There is not a person on this earth tht I will let take my money, steal from me, And sit on my couch while I work to pay my bills. No thanks. I would have children if I wanted to take care of someone.
It had come dangerously close to that point.
When you get to the point where he will have to support his own habit...maybe he will get a job. When tyhe consequences of his actions, bc HIS CONSEQUENCES, his chance for recovery is greater.
I read online today that 90% of active alcoholics are unemployed. Hmm. Scary.
Stay with us here at SR, so many people who know what you are dealing with and can be there for you!