WOW, this was an amazing post, thank you.
I know all of us are always only one sip away from downfall no matter how much time we have under our belt but I've always been envious of people that just knew, with complete and utter confidence they're 100% done. My AV is incessant, I hear it gets quieter with time, and it has even in these last 50 days. I just wish I didn't feel that grief or loss over what was easily my most destructive habit. I was speaking to a gent in a meeting yesterday about this and he said, "seriously, wherever you're at in that struggle, if you stay with the program and try your hardest no matter what, you WILL see miracles and things happen you would never believe". That's been so inspiring and exciting to me.
Thank you again, and kudos to this awesome self reflection.