Oh my days - you have just described me until last month. Scary!!
I gave up at least a hundred times. Usually listed two days max. And I’d decide to drink either at 11am whilst at work; or at 2pm; or on my way home. I couldn’t do anything about it
But I have found that I could do something about it. By listening to people on here, taking advice even when the advice isn’t easy, by getting support from my significant other and by DOING things differently I am almost to a month.
I rarely get cravings and when I do I have a plan to allow them to pass. I sleep wonderfully, eat well, even do a bit of exercise. My life is still very messy as 22 years or heavy drinking would obviously lead to. Lots of shite to work through, not least in my own head
I’m new to sobriety, a lot of others are much better placed to give techniques etc. I just want to give you hope that it IS a possible and not only that it is much much better than a drinking half-life