I know that what I said is contradicting. I do want help from someone I know. I do need medical help but I want to avoid anything invasive. I know that is not possible. If I go for help I know they'll want blood work and more.
I have been trying to get help for forty years now. I think that a time does come when you have to accept who and what you are. Most of my life has been just a horrible existance. About a year ago I accepted that I was gonna die. But obviously that has not happened. I would like to get better, I mean completely better.
I absolutely agree that people don't understand mental illness. The thing that bugs me is that people in the medical field don't understand it either. I know what you mean about making plans for dinner and stuff. I have done that a few times.
Personally I don't expect people to understand unless it's their nearest and dearest and in that case they might do some research (like some of us do about alcoholism). If you don't know an alcoholic, chances are you don't understand alcoholism either.
I tried to get some people to understand at least a little and they just don't understand at all. You said unless it's their nearest and dearest. I thought I had some people like that. I was confident that these few people would always be there. I did not choose mental illness it chose me. And because I was born with an illness I am ostracized and condemned.
Many people come in to the family and friends forum and say things like, I didn't know he was an alcoholic until 2 years later, I didn't know anyone who drank that much, thought it was something they would put aside when we got married or had children or decided to settle down etc etc. It is out of their realm of experience so they don't understand it, don't know how to deal with it.
So I think you are going to perhaps cut them a lot of slack. They don't understand and it's not likely they will anytime soon.
I think you have mentioned but I can't remember, have you ever attended AA meetings?[/QUOTE]