Originally Posted by
trailmix 
Your plan may actually backfire in that if your goal is for your ex to remain sober having his sponsor in your "camp" voids any security/ trust between the two, ie: if he is thinking about drinking or actually drinking why would he tell his sponsor if he will discuss it with you? I'm thinking his sponsor would then be the second to last person he would approach (besides you).
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When XAH had a therapist, we had a deal - I could reach out to her with any concern. She might ask me questions, but she would NOT reveal anything he had told her. It was a one-way flow of information. I knew that if I voiced a concern, she would raise it with him, and probably more productively than if I raised it myself. (It worked for a while, and then it all went to pot when she took a turn and started to vouch for the strength of his recovery and defend his decision to discontinue SoberLink. He relapsed immediately thereafter.)
I guess I had sort of been thinking about it in that way. Like just letting him know where my head is.
I have ZERO expectation that a sponsor would call me, for example, if he was aware XAH was drinking. But maybe he would encourage XAH to reach out to me himself to take the kids for a few extra days if he was aware XAH was struggling?