Originally Posted by
August252015 
It sounds to me that you need to do some kind of recovery program. What you describe is not my experience with any part of AA and definitely not what the program is supposed to be. AA is not about religion, and there is a whole lot of advice for living and lots of good people involved in a program that is solely intended to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers, which I sure was and you sound like you are too.
Like Scott said, getting help and getting it from people other than what our own brains think will work (like willpower, hope, avoiding alcohol, positive thinking...) is something most of us had to do, or simply found made the process of getting sober and learning to live in recovery possible.
Judging others did not help me, nor did spending time with people who were making bad choices and actions in their own lives.
I made it another night. I'm going to start attending AA meetings at a better living through recovery center in town. They run marathons and go camping and junk. It seems like it might be better than one of these secondhand-Bible-Belt-meth-meetings ran by tweakers and pill junkies.
That's what I'm doing. #1 is avoid alcohol. It's making me much happier; music sounds better and I can't get enough, which is strange and good, but I can tell I'm separating a part of myself to deal with the stress of not drinking. I'm just not addressing it and it's working for right now. I guess a group could help me tackle this problem and solidify it positively in my brain. You're right, I don't think the human mind possesses the ability to detach from alcohol and move forward on it's own without a positive external environment. They're too related to each other. It's really hard saying that after being a stubborn ******* for 27 years.