trailmix

And speaking of quacking. This sounds like deflection at its finest. If he ever had any serious conviction about being a "Father" he would have shown up for the therapy session. It's all just talk - it's the look for action not words scenario.

It's got to be infuriating, I totally understand that, just reading your post made me a bit angry!

What also came to mind was not your monkeys - not your circus. What a mess they are.

I grew up with an alcoholic in our house. He had lots of family - brothers and sisters, lots of nieces and nephews. My Mother had very few that lived nearby. We never got to know those cousins, the Aunts and Uncles a bit. Now part of it is we moved away for long periods but part of it is we weren't going to visit anyone on any kind of regular basis.

Point being, they had zero influence on us and I now see that is the way my Mother planned it.

It must be so difficult when you can't be on hand to diffuse things. The thing is, by detaching yourself and your emotions from them, you will become even more of that strong parental figure that you need to be.

It will be tough. I'm glad you have your therapist and I hope she will be of even more help going forward, you need support, that is for sure. I'm sorry you are in this situation.

I wonder if he realizes that his family being out of control reflects badly on him? Perhaps if he did he might stop playing the victim.