Mama bear.. I think you commented on my post earlier today about my toxic STBXMIL. I understand how triggering it is and the level of energy it sucks to let go of comments like your mother in law made. My sister in law text and said many enabling, blaming things like this. She was acting as a third party to communicate about visitation with STBXAH bc of a no contact order of protection. I held my tongue, tried healthy detachment and deescalation, and stayed mute when she said off topic manipulative things. Like that I was ‘teaching DD not to value STBXAH bc he struggles with depression, and sure he isn’t fun to be around but I need to teach her how to support him’. I found the blaming and comments escalated the healthier and calmer I was. There was NO RESPONSE I could have to get a healthy dialogue and focus on visitation facts. So you know what? I finally put it all in an email, told her the conversations were not productive and i wouldn’t be communicating with her any more. Sadly, sometimes as hard as we try to stay zen, they just don’t respond to normal. I guess this is a long winded way of saying, you have every right to do anything and everything to protect yourself. You don’t have to listen to garabage. Tell your MIL to get off your property or close the door or anything you need to keep your sanity. Cause you ARE the stable parent!
Sorry you are going through this and that your X no showed your son. It sucks. It just totally sucks. Not surprising and I get we’re not supposed to have expectations but I am so ANGRY when my DD is the one impacted by X. I try to detach but easier said then done. If you find a way to cope with anger in a healthy way, please share!