Alanon was a huge help in letting go of expectations and stop projecting about what may or may not happen in the future. Your X is an alcoholic and this is typical behavior; I would try accepting that and moving on with your life. Sounds like you have a wise therapist who offers very useful suggestions. Of course other people can be irritating, they don't understand the disease; can you reduce time with them? I admire your ability to hold your tongue. Planning quality time with your children is a big benefit to both of you, one of the most positive things you can do right now. Big hug!