Originally Posted by
Linners820 
The quoting past threads has always turned me off, and there's a few here that seem to frequently use this as a form of "tough love" (not sure what else to call it because I'd like to assume it's being done with the best intentions) or respond with what I perceive to be a self-righteous tone. I've sometimes seen posters respond positively to this, but I can also understand why others would feel disheartened.
From my perspective...I'm embarrassed about my addiction. And, I know all my faults...every. single. one...believe me. I know exactly the amount of time that has gone by since I've been a member here, and don't want to feel even crappier that I still "haven't gotten it". I think that for many alcoholics, the issue of self-esteem plays a role. To me, bringing up the past and reminding me again of my mistakes/history is counter-productive.
Someone had posted before about banning the repeat offenders and I honestly thought about this for a while. And my feelings are that unless someone is completely out of line, that wouldn't be fair. So many of the views expressed here so far resonated with me and what I've been feeling when I've seen some responses to posts the last few months, but perhaps these "tough love" approaches help some people. Maybe they're not what I want to hear, or need, but maybe it's what someone else does?
The line between compassion and enabling is a gray area. I know that while I was still actively drinking and relapsing, I was easily put off by what I perceived at the time as harshness or overly "tough" love.
With the benefit of hindsight granted by finally staying sober long enough for my head to clear, however, I had to admit it was the "tough love" posts that helped me the most in the long run. As FreeOwl said, not the ones with any intent of being jerky or mean-spirited, but often not saying what I thought I needed to hear at the time. I needed to be called out -- gently but firmly -- on my alcoholic thinking.
I see the overall environment here at SR as being quite compassionate and nurturing overall, and it seems to me the moderators are quick to put out any fires started by the rare post that does come off as jerky or mean-spirited.