Sorry to hear that Arthox. I would be worried if I were you too - do you think you might want to actually do something about it? You aren't pathetic - but you do have a choice in this. You ask what it says about you - i think basically it says that you are an alcoholic, just like me and most of us here. You don't even need to use that word if you don't like it, but you do need to accept that drinking alcohol in any volume is not an option anymore.