wolvesascent

Life was fun before drinking.. I absolutely loved nature and mysterious stuff.. i'd go on walks at night in the rain just listening to music and absolutely loved it. I loved going to haunted places and exploring forests..

I started drinking at 15 and started drinking heavy by 18

by 20 I was blacking out 2 times a week and by 22 I was blacking out alone or with friends every single night.


from 18-22 I still enjoyed doing things as long as alcohol was involved.

I still loved nature and going on walks and haunted places but it was only fun when hammered. Doing anything sober was complete trash and had absolutely no interest to me at all.. it still doesn't


I am 2 weeks sober and have absolutely no interest in anything.. Walks don't sound fun.. rain doesn't sound fun.. exploring doesn't sound fun.. absolutely nothing sounds fun.. not games.. not movies..nothing

I have been smoking cannabis to aid in recovery and things are still very fun when I smoke. I LOVE nature when I smoke.. but it's a 50/50 for me.. sometimes I get extreme anxiety when I smoke and sometimes I am in absolute heaven..


I don't plan on smoking forever but it definitely helps me forget about alcohol



My question is... does life ever go back to how it was before I picked up a drink.. I don't see myself ever finding the joy in things like I did before I drank..

I just went on a crazy nature trail with a waterfall and everything and was completely bored and had no interest at all sober... I just wanted to go home...