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Is it ever the same? Like it was before drinking?

Old 08-05-2018, 02:24 PM
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Is it ever the same? Like it was before drinking?

Life was fun before drinking.. I absolutely loved nature and mysterious stuff.. i'd go on walks at night in the rain just listening to music and absolutely loved it. I loved going to haunted places and exploring forests..

I started drinking at 15 and started drinking heavy by 18

by 20 I was blacking out 2 times a week and by 22 I was blacking out alone or with friends every single night.


from 18-22 I still enjoyed doing things as long as alcohol was involved.

I still loved nature and going on walks and haunted places but it was only fun when hammered. Doing anything sober was complete trash and had absolutely no interest to me at all.. it still doesn't


I am 2 weeks sober and have absolutely no interest in anything.. Walks don't sound fun.. rain doesn't sound fun.. exploring doesn't sound fun.. absolutely nothing sounds fun.. not games.. not movies..nothing

I have been smoking cannabis to aid in recovery and things are still very fun when I smoke. I LOVE nature when I smoke.. but it's a 50/50 for me.. sometimes I get extreme anxiety when I smoke and sometimes I am in absolute heaven..


I don't plan on smoking forever but it definitely helps me forget about alcohol



My question is... does life ever go back to how it was before I picked up a drink.. I don't see myself ever finding the joy in things like I did before I drank..

I just went on a crazy nature trail with a waterfall and everything and was completely bored and had no interest at all sober... I just wanted to go home...
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Old 08-05-2018, 05:56 PM
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It took me a few months to find joy again, but I did
I didn't realise how deeply buried I was til I got out.

I rediscovered the real me, and I rediscovered a life I'd forgotten. I can say it was exactly the same - I drugged and drank for nearly 30 years and much water had flowed under my bridge...

but in a way it was *better*...I had the more mature me, with everything I'd learnt, there in the mix now

an emotional flatlining is pretty common - things started to change for me around 3 months.

Hope that happens even sooner for you - you're on the right track, I promise

D
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Old 08-05-2018, 05:59 PM
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It does get better. It will take some time, while your body, and your mind, readjust.

Now I do things, and enjoy things, like I never would have been able to while drinking. Once your mind clears, you can discover amazing things.

Stay strong, and stay close to SR.
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Old 08-05-2018, 06:06 PM
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It took me ages to enjoy doing things again. But then I hadn't even enjoyed stuff drunk anymore. Now at 1 year and 9 months I still am trying to reconnect with my true self, finding out what I actually enjoy. These things take time. It's like getting to know yourself all over again.

In my case it was also depression that kept me from enjoying things and made everything feel so bland and I didn't want to do anything, nothing was enjoyable. Maybe if this feeling does linger for you, it would be good to talk to a doctor or therapist about it. When getting sober, many people discover that they suffer from depression. It's not uncommon.
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:08 PM
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Years of drinking alcohol damages your brain which may cause depression and all sorts of side effects. If possible I would suggest getting a good physical with labs to see if anything is out of whack. It could be something that you are not aware of that is causing the blues.

For me after 90 days life is getting better by the day. I still have aches and pains from being up in years however mental problems I carried for so long are MUCH better. You may be in a stage of recovery where you're in a fog and nothing excites you. Just hang in there and if you'll be diligent in your sobriety, things are bound to be on the up. Another thing you might want to consider is joining a gym. Exercise has a way of taking the blues down the toilet. Keep fighting for sobriety ! You can do this!!
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Old 08-05-2018, 07:38 PM
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For me it wasn't 'the same' as it was, it was 'better'.
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Old 08-05-2018, 08:47 PM
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Wolvesascent, happiness is rooted in your beliefs. Believe that you will be happy you will be happy. Look for the positives of not drinking and positively reinforce these in your mind. Savour the good feelings about being sober.

Never lose sight of the damage that alcohol causes and the difficulties it caused you personally.

Think into the future and see an image of yourself happy and content without alcohol. Notice the benefits of not drinking and be thankful for them.

There is no reason that you will not regain the previous fun you in life before drinking. You just need to practice and experience being in that state of mind.
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Old 08-06-2018, 05:23 AM
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No. It is far better. Fun means different things now, and my experiences, relationships and life are even better than what was good and fun and loving before my drinking took over.
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Old 08-06-2018, 05:34 AM
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Yes!!!! My story is very similar to yours. I can 100% say that I feel as I did before I touched alcohol and it hadn’t corrupted my brain. My experience is exactly that as described in the book Alcoholics Anonymous; I am a recovered alcoholic. I have a total freedom in my life and I find myself connected to nature and the world around me in ways I never thought possible in sobriety. Essentially what I used to get from alcohol and drugs in terms of a sense of calmness and connectedness I get with my recovery and the spirituality that is fundamental to my recovery. It doesn’t happen overnight however and it takes many years. It is absolutely possible to get recovered so that alcohol doesn’t register in your brain anymore.

I am totally abstinent from any mind altering drugs; there is no recovery for me with any recreational drugs with addiction potential involved. No alcohol, drugs, cigarettes for this alcoholic.

It’s also important to be mindful
Of depression too. Depression can make one lose interest in anything they used to find fun
and many alkies-addicts self medicate depression without realising it. Best to seek medical help if that’s the case in my experience.
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Old 08-06-2018, 05:40 AM
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Well, it won't be like it was when you were a child (14 and under), because you are an adult now.

BUT, you can find new joy and fulfillment, with long term sobriety and by working on your recovery. Just removing what we're addicted to doesn't change our addictive thinking. That takes time and work, but it is possible. Hence AAs talking about being happy, joyous and free.

Just removing our crutch of choice (whether that be alcohol, drugs (illegal or over-the-counter), sex, porn, gambling, risk-taking shopping, eating (bingeing or purging) or whatever). Without recovery we are likely to cross addict, as it sounds like you have done. The compulsion just shifts onto something else.

Recovery is all about finding new and better ways to live life on life's terms, and get rid of that horrible restless, irritable and discontent that followed us around.

BB
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Old 08-06-2018, 05:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
Well, it won't be like it was when you were a child (14 and under), because you are an adult now.
I have actually found that my experiences have felt like they did when I was a child in some ways. By that I mean the connectedness to nature and the universe has felt very childlike in the sense of wonder and sheer joy of just looking at the night’s sky, walks in nature, driving my car with the windows down and music blasting out etc. I guess alcohol and drugs tricked my brain into thinking they were required to appreciate what was there all along. I think the spiritual way of living has basically tapped back into the purity of childlike gratitude and sense of wonder for things that then get taken for granted as society knocks it out of you in adulthood.

Fundamentally it takes time and a real commitment to recovery as no1 priority in your life. When you put work into something you usually always get the rewards. Like revising for an exam; those who revise more usually get better grades.
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Old 08-06-2018, 05:51 AM
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I don't think we get to go back. That's the thing about life, it's always changing and evolving. Like Dee said though, I rediscovered myself and remembered who I was before I let my addiction take over - it happened at around one year. I got into things I used to be into, but mostly I got my self confidence back and settled into myself into a whole new way. I got my sense of adventure back. I was young when I started drinking and drugging, so I don't want to go back to being a 15 year old girl haha! But a 40 year old woman who's been through it and came out the other side, suits me fine.
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:08 AM
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Originally Posted by brighterday1234 View Post
I have actually found that my experiences have felt like they did when I was a child in some ways. By that I mean the connectedness to nature and the universe has felt very childlike in the sense of wonder and sheer joy of just looking at the night’s sky, walks in nature, driving my car with the windows down and music blasting out etc. I guess alcohol and drugs tricked my brain into thinking they were required to appreciate what was there all along. I think the spiritual way of living has basically tapped back into the purity of childlike gratitude and sense of wonder for things that then get taken for granted as society knocks it out of you in adulthood.

Fundamentally it takes time and a real commitment to recovery as no1 priority in your life. When you put work into something you usually always get the rewards. Like revising for an exam; those who revise more usually get better grades.
I agree, there have been moments like this, but as far as life all being carefree and fun, it's probably best to find some acceptance around the fact that as adults there are likely to be some days that just aren't like that. Realistic expectations and all that.

BB
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Berrybean View Post
I agree, there have been moments like this, but as far as life all being carefree and fun, it's probably best to find some acceptance around the fact that as adults there are likely to be some days that just aren't like that. Realistic expectations and all that.

BB
Yes I agree. Life on life’s terms 🙏
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Old 08-06-2018, 07:16 AM
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I'm not sure you go back to where you were before. I'm not the same person because recovery changed me from the inside out. However, joy does return. For me, it took a lot longer than 2 weeks. I'd guess it was a few months before I began to feel really good.
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Old 08-06-2018, 07:36 AM
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Yes and I'd venture to say that life, in all its ragged joy and universal suffering, gets so much better sober.

Stay strong.
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Old 08-06-2018, 07:45 AM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
For me it wasn't 'the same' as it was, it was 'better'.
Same for me. 1.5 years sober and life is actually better than it was before I started drinking.
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Old 08-06-2018, 07:46 AM
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Is it ever the same? Like it was before drinking?

its even better!
today i get to watch my great nephew who is 4( but if you say that aroun dhim he will remind you he will be 5 in a couple weeks). iso far we've have a picnic breakfast out in the yard and trip to the park. lunchtime and break( because im old) and back at it. prolly gonna be runnin through the sprinkler, jumpin in the pool, water baloon fight...... TONS of fun! not sure how it was back before i started drinkin, but today its friggin AWESOME!
i really dont care how fun was back before i ever started drinking- its friggin awesome today and thats all that matters.

I am 2 weeks sober and have absolutely no interest in anything

its still early for ya and if ya keep smokin dope, ya aint gonna learn how to truly enjoy life and have fun. it may help ya forget about alcohol, extreme anxiety sometimes, doesnt seem worth it.
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Old 08-06-2018, 04:58 PM
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I don't really remember what it was like before I started drinking, so I can't comment on whether or not it goes back. But I can tell you that not drinking is a hell of a lot better than drinking. That's why we strive to stop - and stay stopped!

Unfortunately for me, cannabis makes me paranoid 100% of the time. I tried it in the beginning to take my mind off of alcohol, but ended up miserable with horrific paranoia. Unreasonable and obsessive thoughts about my job, relationships, finances.. Holy smokes!! My brain completely freaks out.

I just enjoy each day for what it is - and if I don't like it, I try to do something to change it.
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Old 08-07-2018, 01:21 AM
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Drinking and cannabis are completely different. If having a joint helps you relax and stops you picking up a drink then it is 100 times better than drinking.
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