Originally Posted by
Dee74 
Glad you've joined us MamaKlaus and Sweetpeacan
Suzy if you're going to use old memories and things to keep you on the straight and narrow I think it's important to acknowledge that you're trying to grow and while we acknowledge the past. it has no claim on who you're becoming.
Shame is one of addictions weapons...don't let it be used against you and your plans for the future
D
Thanks, Dee. "It has no claim on who you're becoming." Very well said. I love that. I think that is where I finally got to yesterday.
I was struggling for a while there yesterday and literally covering my face in shame like a child. My husband asked what I was doing. I shared with him which I would never have done both while I was drinking and even some of my short dry stints in the past. Telling him how stupid I felt, without rehashing all the reasons why, sort of felt like a release. Saying it out loud amounted to, I fee l stupid because I have done stupid things, but I won't do them again. As a mother, I could see that I would embrace my children if they felt that way, why not me?
So, I let go. Dee, I almost felt like the memories and words etc. are so used to thriving in the dark that saying it out loud and shining a light on it took some power away from things. I also realize for anyone in AA or who has shared on here, perhaps this is obvious. But it was a good lesson to learn and glad he is so supportive.
Casey, I am so sorry about your kindle! You seem to be rolling with it and somewhat seeing the irony of dropping it sober. I love baths (they are my secret weapon during the witching hour) and love reading, but can never seem to combine the two.
Sorry I am still getting the hang of keeping track of everything I read etc. on a phone, so I am reading very carefully and am grateful for everyone in this class even if i am not responding individually. Thanks for the support!