Leelee…..I am so glad, for you, that you seem to have started working on being proactive for yourself.....as this is going to really help you in your healing process...
The healing will come in stages and layers, and, sometimes, in fits and starts....
Make sure not to beat up on yourself or despair if it is not a perfectly straight line....it will zig/sag, sometimes....
Make sure to give yourself lots of time.....
for myself, I found that there is something mystical about the one year "anniversary"...….once you get over the hump of that anniversary...things tend to take on a past-history type of feeling.....While, during that first year...things tend to feel more present life...…..
I want to underline an
important thing.....about human connections....
It is such a powerful force for getting through dark times and healing from traumas.
For you...I think, this is especially important, since you are removed from your family and old friends, geographically....and, your immediate "friends" were mutual to him....
Don't avoid getting support from a counselor and/or support group from the domestic violence folks.....as they will be non-judgemental and very compassionate...and, will know about the wounds that being in a toxic and abusive relationship leaves....
Don't avoid the very thing that will help the most....
Lots of people do because of various reasons...like shame, social anxiety, etc.....
I think you are doing great....reaching out, here.....starting your list...being willing to read and study...etc.....