on this:
I've been avoiding AA because I'm scared and because I'm worried that people in this very small community might find out. But that is ego. The most grown up and respectable thing I could do....for both myself and everyone else in my life....is to go and try. If that isn't right then find something that is right. That's it. My life. My choice
i got sober in podunk,USA( northern michigan). i also fell off of barstools in podunk,USA.
i had that fear of running into people i may know in AA, but then i had someone help me with that:
i had no problem fallin off of barstool and gettin knee walkin drunk in podunk,USA so why should i be fearful of running into people i knew at a place to get help? why should i be afraid of people that prolly already knew i had a problem finding out im getting help when i didnt have a problem with them seeing me fall off of barstools and be knee walkin drunk?
just took me some courage to walk in. the ONLY person i knew at my first meeting was someone i remembered from a court ordered stint in AA. he was chairing the meeting. when i walked in, he looked at me, smiled, and said,"hey!! glad ya made it back! welcome!"
over the years in podunk,USA and hitting meetings in other podunk,USA towns, i ran into people i used to drink with and what a blessing!! over the years ive seen people i used to drink with walk into AA and what a blessing!
ya know, we go to doctors,mechanics, carpenters,etc to have them help us fix stuff. help with stopping drinking??
nnnNNNNNNOOOOoooooo!!
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
"Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I
don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly
indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the
mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the
definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in
spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
During the times I didn't have love in my life I most assuredly had
fear. To fear God is to be afraid of joy. In looking back, I realize
that, during the times I feared God most, there was no joy in my life.
As I learned not to fear God, I also learned to experience joy.