I foind support really helps with emotional pain - and there's a lot of support here.
When emotional pain threatened to swamp me I'd just remember that I was stronger than any memory - that was then and this is now and I'd carried that baggage for long enough.
If you're really having a bad time of it I suggest looking at urge surfing
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...e-surfing.html (urge surfing)
and I'm not trying to trivialise the terrible things that happened, but you might get something from this
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...g-rabbits.html (Fear - Lessons Learned from Running Rabbits)
D