Originally Posted by
Truthseeker11 
You are right. I’m just scared. Scared of failure. What I’m doing is just hoping that after those 30 days I’ll realize I don’t miss it at all and don’t want it. I know that’s unrealistical. I guess I need to take one day at a time more realistically. Right now I’m literally taking one hour at a time. I just realized I have to get on my bicycle and go for a ride, that’s one more weapon I have to pull out today. I did AA, I read a lot on here, I kept busy with work, I ate well, and I’m still hurting enough to feel tempted. So I’m going on my bike now. Anything to take my mind off the booze. Is Day 3/4 the hardest or something? I remember getting past a week and feeling like it all started getting easier but I don’t remember quitting ever being this hard the times that I did.
Hi Truthseeker, it IS hard. I drank for almost 30 years and was convinced that my life was over at the ripe old age of 43. The prospect of "forever" not drinking was too big to wrap my brain around - and it still is, 8 years later.
I found AA to be a godsend, but that is my path. You need to find what works for you, but I do think that few people manage to get happily sober all by themselves. Sober friends, therapists, church, aa, avrt, and many other options exist.
AA has an expression that scared the hell out of me initially: "willing to go to any length to get it." ("it" being sobriety, of course) The truth is that "any length" usually isn't all that hard: it's the willingness to do whatever it takes to get through the rough patches when our addiction calls out to us loudest. You went to "any length" last night - you hopped on your bike and sought out a sober friend. Your old self might have chosen to go to a bar instead, but you chose differently. That is the essence of sobriety - to not merely want to change your actions, but to do it every day.
This is a journey, one that I originally dreaded. My life is so much more than I expected, and it continues to grow. You CAN do this, but if you want to make it, your odds will be much better if you surround yourself with people and activities that support you as opposed to your addiction.
Keep posting - your sobriety matters to us!